Decomposing Matters

It is so important to be forward thinking that even waste gets positivized.

The classic: Shit happens
Also: fertilizer occurs, feces emerges

"Backlogs, however, do occur" (unpublished thesis for M.A. in Rehabilitation Psychology, Caseload Management: Differentiation of Effectiveness 9).

Maybe when I hang out my shingle it will say.

Skulduggery

Fascinated by Scottish adultery (sculdudrie) and sculduddery (bawdry and obscenity), and other euphemisms of uncertain origin since 1856!

Proctologisms

It is important to note that, should existing language distinguishing assholes from buttheads prove insufficient, you might want to consider creating a proctologism.